Robert Oscar Lopez has a PhD and teaches English and the Classics. He also happens to be gay and was raised by a Lesbian mother and her partner. He has been an activist against gay marriage and is now an activist for the rights of COG’s (Children Of Gays).
Lopez began his talk by saying he wasn’t there to re-litigate gay marriage. He believes the argument has been lost, he believes the Supreme Court will rule in favor of gay marriage, so congratulations to those who support it.
Gay marriage was premised on falsehoods. It was pushed on unwilling populations using nefarious tactics ranging from half-true propaganda to criminal intimidation.
And to that end, sexual and gender identification has been separated (unisex bathrooms and dressing rooms) and self-determination (counseling) has been forbidden for ex-gays.
Lopez has conducted several studies of Children Of Gays and written a book, “Jephthah’s Daughters”. He contends that raising children isn’t just about changing diapers, reading bedtime stories and helping with homework. No one would argue that a gay couple isn’t capable of doing those things as well as anyone. And certainly if the choice came down to a child being raised in an institution or by a gay couple, the gay couple would be preferable. However, Lopez points out that in every scenario of a gay couple becoming parents, the rights of the child are being denied.
Gay parenting is only about satisfying a gay couple’s perceived right to parent while the rights of the child are ignored. The child is being denied the right to be raised by a mother and father and in many cases denied even knowing who their biological parents are and what their heritage is.
I think most of us understand gay couples use surrogates, egg donors and sperm banks, but we’d be surprised to know many adopt trafficked children from other countries. In many cases these children are bought or stolen from unwilling parents. Lopez told us children of sperm bank donors have sued to learn their biological father’s identity and find siblings. They have formed groups to fight for their rights and Lopez suspects there will be a class action suit in the future.
Lopez collected personal stories from more than a hundred Children Of Gays and while most loved their parent or parents, they were not supportive of gay marriage or being raised by gay parents. COG’s are mostly raised in gay communities where most of their family and friends are gay activist. While, Lopez found COG’s who speak glowingly about being raised by gay parents, the large majority in his studies were not supportive. His book contains their stories. He also recommends visiting
http://englishmanif.blogspot.com where many of the testimonials are posted.
Lopez cited several books written by COG’s that describe being raised by gays. Jakki Edwards in, “Like Mother, Like Daughter” tells of being raised by a Lesbian who made her living giving birthing babies to sell. Denise Shick in, “My Daddy’s Secret” explains the devastation of keeping her father’s transgender secret. And Dawn Stefanowicz’s book, “Out From Under: the Impact of Homosexual Parenting” that describes the cost unchecked and unleashed sexual appetites of adults have on the innocent. She was raised by a gay father who brought many partners into the home and exposed her to perversion she was too young to understand.
Many Lesbian families were created when a divorced mother with a child or children entered into a Lesbian relationship. Instead of the child having two Mommies, they often have two women competing to be the Mom. For Lopez the argument is about selfishness and self-centeredness and a lack of humanity. Lopez says he’s heard many stories from donor-conception and surrogacy but the story he’s never heard is a child expressing to a parent their grief over missing their biological mother or father…….and the parent apologizing. No matter what the gay parent’s justification, Lopez contends that the monogamous heterosexual male-female duo works to build community like no other sexually intimate bond can.
Lopez was raised by his biological mother and her partner. His mother and father were psychiatrists. His mother’s partner had three children and felt it important for them to have a continuing relationship with their father regardless of her feelings toward him, but his own mother felt no such obligation. This was a source of confusion for him. Although he was teased in school and seduced by men three times his age, he never considered counseling due to the fact that anyone he might see would likely be associates of his parents.
In all of the testimonies Lopez took, he found few COG’s who cared if their gay parents were married or not. Although they may be respectful and grateful of the parents who raised them, they are also aware of the extent the adults used and manipulated them for their own selfish purposes.
COG’s have a lot in common with children of divorce, adoptees, abused or abandoned children, trafficked children, orphans or donor children. The reason for the custody being given a non-parent may be justifiable, but in many cases it isn’t and in all cases it was hard for the child. Children are being robbed of their heritage when they are too young to consent. Gay parents don’t want to acknowledge this and the legalization of gay marriage won’t change that.
Lopez points out that in surrogacy contracts, you have a mother selling her child to a couple who is willing to buy the child……which, for all intents and purposes, makes that child a chattel slave. This violates three pillars of a child’s humanity, the right to be born free (not sold as property: slave), a child’s right to their mother and father, and a child’s right to it’s heritage.
Lopez’s studies met with vicious opposition from gay activist groups. He and five others submitted amicus briefs for the Supreme Court hearings on gay marriage. Two of the six were fired from their jobs. All received death threats. Several had their homes or places of business vandalized. Apparently it is no longer permissible to speak the truth about your own life. Lopez says complete strangers are constantly telling him how he should feel and what he should believe.
Lopez is now married to a woman and is a father. He believes whatever your sexual orientation, that is the unselfish, loving way to raise children.
During a Q&A I commented that I believe an important issue is being left out of the conversation. Boys learn how to be men from their fathers and girls learn how to be women from their mothers. In no configuration of a gay family is that possible. He agreed that was a serious problem but he said if you tried to make that point in any public setting you would be shouted down by gay activists, if not worse.
Robert Lopez is a very brave man to stand up against the very well funded, hostile and litigious gay mafia. Homosexuals are less than 4% (some say 2%) of the population, yet they have successfully bullied and intimidated the majority. I don’t believe people have changed their minds about gay marriage. I believe they are in such fear of losing their jobs or businesses, and so worn down by the name calling and ugliness, they are not willing to tell the truth about how they feel or have just conceded defeat. Recently, a study showing the population now favors gay marriage was proven fraudulent, so it’s hard to know the reality in this politically correct, kill the messenger, truth be damned, environment.
We will hear soon the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. If, as most suspect, they vote in favor, I believe it will open Pandora’s box and unleash consequences that we will live to regret.